S L O W

The internet is very slow here today and I feel like I have been thrown back into those awful days when we had AOL dial up at my house. I seriously think that I waited hours for that yellow man to finally connect me to the internet only to realize that my mom had changed my privacy settings so that all I could do was check my e-mail and the weather. Gah those privacy settings were annoying. I just wanted to play games online.

Well today was an interesting day. I learned that the last day we are at the elementary school the boys and girls are dividing up by gender and getting a little talk about their changing bodies. When I found this out I immediately became very uncomfortable. I remember those talks a little too well. They were always awkward and the person talking always pointed out all of the adults in the room who had their period. Now I am one of those adults and I really do not want to be pointed out in the little talk. I think that I am going to share how the talks went when I was little because they are hilarious!!!

Third Grade:
We were the only 3rd grade class to ever get the talk. I am not sure why we got it. So the lady told us about our period and then we each got a bag with a pad and a little deodorant and then she lectured to us about how fortunate we are to live in a country that has pads because it is not like that everywhere. In some countries women have to go into a hut when it is their time of the month and they bleed onto woven mats. EWWW WTF why did she feel the need to share that with us? I have no idea but I totally remember it.

Fourth Grade:
We had some weird old lady come to give us the talk. She made us all stand up and we made a triangle out of our hands. We then made the triangle sit on our belly buttons and point upward. "Now girls a lot of changes will happen up here. You will get BOOBS" she screamed this at us totally excited. I thought it was weird and wanted to run from the room. Then we had to point our triangle down and she told us "now things are going to happen down here too. You are going to get your period!!!" this was also said with the same enthusiasm as before and it really freaked me out. I hated that talk. The lady was way too energetic. She also was like throwing pads and tampons into the air and letting them "rain down on us." she said that was a right of passage. Now I am not certain but I can pretty much assume that my fourth grade class is the only class who has ever had this special right of passage. bahahah that one was a loon.

Fifth Grade:
This is weird because I know that we got the talk in fifth grade but it was so normal in comparison to the other two that there is really nothing to say. Except it was once again awkward as always.

Point is I hated these talks when I was younger and I am pretty sure that I will not find a new appreciation for them but I sort of am looking forward to laughing to myself as these girls are put into this awkward talk for the first time hahahaha I am pretty sure that this talk is a right of passage and that pads and tampons raining down on you is not.


~Natasha