If You Let Natasha Think About Summer

If You Let Natasha Think About Summer
Written By: Natasha
Illustrated by: Whatever came up on google images

If you let Natasha think about summer,
She's going to ask for upbeat music.
When you giver her upbeat music,
She'll probably ask for another song.
When she's finished, she'll ask for ice cream.
Then she'll want to look outside to see the nice day.
When she looks outside she might notice the window is dirty. So she'll probably ask for Windex.

When she's finished cleaning the window, she'll want a broom to sweep up.
She'll start sweeping.

She might even get carried away and sweep the whole house.
She may even end up washing the floors as well!
When she's done, she'll probably want a nap.
You'll have to fix up a bed for her with a blanket and a pillow.
She'll crawl in, make herself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times.
She'll probably want you to sing her a song.
So you'll sing to her with your guitar and she'll ask to sing along.
When she sings along she'll get so excited she'll want to play her guitar.

She'll play her guitar.
When the song is finished, you'll want her autograph, in pen.

Then she'll want to hang her autograph on the window.

Which means she'll need scotch tape.
She'll hang her autograph and she'll stand back to look at it.
Looking at the window will remind her that
she's bored.
So...

She's going to ask for some music.

And chances are if she asks for music.
She's going to want summer vacation to go with it.


In case you are an idiot or live under a rock this is a new version of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

~Natasha

It's Raining It's Pooring The Old Man Is Snoring

I wish that I were like that old man and that I was snoring. This would be ideal. I wish that it were really hardcore thunderstorming out and that I was in bed listening to the rain and sleeping. I also wish that I could have a week off. Sadly none of these things are going to happen. CRAP.



~Natasha

Dang

So I had a whole nice and quiet week to myself and LOVED it. I was also looking forward to a nice Saturday night alone but then someone returned with her mom. So here I am sitting in my room in my pajamas still and I hear a knock at the door. I open it and it is Leah and her mom. Wohoo. My whole side of the room is disgustingly dirty. I have an empty subway cup on my dresser. The trash is overflowing because I was not going to take it out until tomorrow and I look like complete crap. And then her mom looked at my side and looked me up and down and it was so awkward and I felt really bad because usually I am not that messy at all. On a positive note I only have to deal with that girl for another 3 weeks. That is not that bad at all.


~Natasha

Kristine!!!

So here is my response to Kristine's post... YAY


Natasha needs...
to be an only child
to breakup with that slumbag of a boyfriend she has
to make up her mind
$600 to start the donor search
a foster home

Natasha looks like...
Nicole Kidman
a dude
her mother at the same age
Ginger from Chicken Run
she has done this before

Natasha wants...
to carry on dancing
everyone to know she is engaged to Justin
peace
to be successful with music

Natasha likes...
keeping fit with swimming, running, and pilates
nothing better than whipping her top off
flowers
ham
it normal

Some of these are ridiculously funny. I hope that you like it.

~Natasha

Please God Let This Be True!

Kevin Jonas was supposedly dancing on the tables at some club!! Please that is almost normal behavior. I hope someone has pictures and that he was totally wasted!!!!!!!!
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
This better be true!


~Natasha

S L O W

The internet is very slow here today and I feel like I have been thrown back into those awful days when we had AOL dial up at my house. I seriously think that I waited hours for that yellow man to finally connect me to the internet only to realize that my mom had changed my privacy settings so that all I could do was check my e-mail and the weather. Gah those privacy settings were annoying. I just wanted to play games online.

Well today was an interesting day. I learned that the last day we are at the elementary school the boys and girls are dividing up by gender and getting a little talk about their changing bodies. When I found this out I immediately became very uncomfortable. I remember those talks a little too well. They were always awkward and the person talking always pointed out all of the adults in the room who had their period. Now I am one of those adults and I really do not want to be pointed out in the little talk. I think that I am going to share how the talks went when I was little because they are hilarious!!!

Third Grade:
We were the only 3rd grade class to ever get the talk. I am not sure why we got it. So the lady told us about our period and then we each got a bag with a pad and a little deodorant and then she lectured to us about how fortunate we are to live in a country that has pads because it is not like that everywhere. In some countries women have to go into a hut when it is their time of the month and they bleed onto woven mats. EWWW WTF why did she feel the need to share that with us? I have no idea but I totally remember it.

Fourth Grade:
We had some weird old lady come to give us the talk. She made us all stand up and we made a triangle out of our hands. We then made the triangle sit on our belly buttons and point upward. "Now girls a lot of changes will happen up here. You will get BOOBS" she screamed this at us totally excited. I thought it was weird and wanted to run from the room. Then we had to point our triangle down and she told us "now things are going to happen down here too. You are going to get your period!!!" this was also said with the same enthusiasm as before and it really freaked me out. I hated that talk. The lady was way too energetic. She also was like throwing pads and tampons into the air and letting them "rain down on us." she said that was a right of passage. Now I am not certain but I can pretty much assume that my fourth grade class is the only class who has ever had this special right of passage. bahahah that one was a loon.

Fifth Grade:
This is weird because I know that we got the talk in fifth grade but it was so normal in comparison to the other two that there is really nothing to say. Except it was once again awkward as always.

Point is I hated these talks when I was younger and I am pretty sure that I will not find a new appreciation for them but I sort of am looking forward to laughing to myself as these girls are put into this awkward talk for the first time hahahaha I am pretty sure that this talk is a right of passage and that pads and tampons raining down on you is not.


~Natasha

Indoor Recess

So today it was rainy and there was indoor recess. Now when I had indoor recess we would quietly sit and talk or play the various board games that were in the room. Our teacher always sat quietly grading papers or reading a book. This is not so today. Today there was indoor recess at our school and it was complete chaos. Kids were running around in the room and throwing bouncy balls everywhere. I thought I was losing my mind. Also the teacher said that they were really well behaved today but that the more they stay in for recess the naughtier they get. I really hope that they do not have to stay inside for much longer because I cannot imagine them getting worse.

~Natasha

Wow Wow

So this weekend is already over and I cannot even believe it. What did I do this weekened. Umm well I read this fascinating book about the history of Wisconsin. Yeah that was not so great. I also played around on photobooth for about an hour today. My roommate is not even back yet!! What else? Oh I saw 17 again and I really liked it. Also I feel like I forgot how hot Zac Efron was and then I saw him on that big screen and I was like Omg you really are hot. Now I remember why I had a poster of you in my bedroom last year. I also slept a lot and caught up on all of my sleep. I am not even tired anymore. Also I am super energized and excited for this week. I love being a teacher (even if I sort of am a fake teacher hahaha) On Thursday our class is planting a tree. And lots of people will be there. Maybe even TV crews. That should be really exciting! I might be on TV for planting a tree with a bunch of fourth graders hahaha. Well tomorrow on the lesson plans it says: create a poem, rap, song, picture etc. about Earth Day" I for one am very excited for this. Also I am praying so hard that one of my students creates a rap. I would really like to see that. In fact when I was in fourth grade my class and I rapped the states and capitals. Yup we were that cool. HAHAHA I wish someone I knew had that on video so that I could show you. I am pretty sure that it is HILARIOUS!!

~Natasha

P.S. I hope you had an amazing weekend like I did

I FINALLY HAVE A FUNNY STORY!

So I am so excited because something funny finally happened to me. So here it is my first funny story in a very long time!!!!!!!!!!!!


So I was on my way back to school with Sallie and Elizabeth. We were at a local elementary school. So we are almost back to campus and we stop at a light and next to us a car full of high school boys pull up and none of them are wearing shirts. They all are unrolling their windows and staring and they are trying to get us to unroll ours. We were like WTF stop staring this is awkward. Then Sallie decided to unroll her window and ask them why they were not wearing shirts. They told us it was because they were so hot. They also showed us that they had packets of Kool-Aide and they were all holding up their cell phones and asking for our numbers. Elizabeth was like yay see I have one too. Then the light turned green and we drove away. Then the next light was red but they ended up several cars away from us this time. Then all of a sudden one of them was knocking on the window of our car and throwing a paper towel in with all of their numbers and saying that if we ever want to have a good time we should call them. We were laughing so hard. When we looked at the paper towel we noticed that there were like pieces of gum stuck in it too. It was nasty. Also boys you could have at least ripped out the gum. That was disgusting


~Natasha

My Song of Summer

So I know that it is not summer but that is sort of all I can think about so here it is

Sunshine and Summertime-- Faith Hill

I hope that you love it because I do.

Natasha

BORED

Well I am officially super bored. Because I have no classes now I have nothing to do. So I am bored and I check my twitter like 80 times a minute and I have nothing to do. This is really unfortunate. I do not handle myself well when I am given large amounts of nothing. I have no idea what to do. I seriously am considering getting out my finger paint and creating a masterpiece... but that seems really messy. What should I do??


~Natasha

I Know, I Know

I know that it was my goal to blog daily during the month of April but that did not work out because I was in the middle of nowhere and had no access to the Internet. So sorry.


I hope that you had a really great Easter. Mine was good. There was a really hot guy in church on Easter so I could just watch him the whole mass. I mean I was paying attention but there was just a little bonus there! The Easter Bunny only brought us one basket and it had really gross candy inside so that was sort of a let down. Also I think that this is the last year that the Easter Bunny will ever be visiting us so that is also sort of sad. I really hope that Santa never stops because I have been working very hard to be on the nice list this year.

So this year we went to Easter at my Aunt's house and it was majorly awkward. It always is awkward whenever we go to my dad's side for holidays because my family does not really fit in at all. So I am used to not fitting in but it is always a little weird when you do not fit in with your own family. Ok so this is why we do not fit in because I know that you are wondering. Oh I should warn you it is sort of a long story. So my dad was the only kid in his family to go to college and get a degree. Then after that he moved away from home (the only one to do so) also he moved to Milwaukee (big evil city) so that was a no no. Then he married my mom, who at times can be a little stuck up but she is really loud and opinionated. So she fits in fine with the rest of the family but sometimes she makes them made with her conservative ideas. So then my dad never moved back home and then when my mom and dad had kids. We all went to private schools. None of my cousins went to private schools. Well except for one but he turned out sort of messed up so it does not count. So then they think that we are really rich and sort of snobby. Not the case at all. I myself am a really poor college student. Also I am super nice and not snobby at all. Well because we did not live up by everyone else we only visit 4-5 times a year. My cousins and Aunts and Uncles go to my Grandma and Grandpa's house every weekend. So they all know each other really well and we do not. Also no one in my family has ever done drugs... all of my cousins have. So that makes us those good kids who are like the teacher's pet. AWKWARD Wow the phone rang and now I lost my grove of spilling my guts hahahaha ok ok so yeah. It is weird. Also none of my cousins really went to college either and both my brother and I are. (I am sure my younger two siblings will too but they are not there yet) Well I guess my cousin Zach went to college and failed out his first semester and now just lives in the frat house and smokes pot. WEIRD I also saw him this weekend and he looked like a total creep. He had a moustace and really long (longer than mine) hair. It was weird. Also my cousin Jeremy went to college and he is now a hall director for some dorm at a college in North Carolina. So that is 1.25 of my cousins that went to college out of about 40 so not that great. Yup so it was super awkward this weekend. So I basically just sat and talked to my sister the whole time and wished that I was at home. Also the whole time we were there my cousin's girlfriend kept glaring at us and I wanted to be like that is rude so knock it off, but as I said earlier I am polite so I did not say anything.

It was a pretty good Easter.


~Natasha


If you want I can tell you some awkward/weird stories too. I just got sick of writing about it bahahahaha

Goodness

What Up?
I am so psyched for Easter break. So SO SO excited. This is a much needed break even though I just had Spring Break. Also this will probably be my last post until I get back to school. Sorry it is such a super awful one. I now have to finish cleaning and packing for tomorrow. I am so excited!


~Natasha

Day Off

So today I had no classes but that does not mean that I did not have anything to do. I had so much work to do. In fact, instead of relaxing I was totally stressed out all day hacking away at my to do list. I did get pretty far but even so it was exhausting. I sort of wish that I could go to bed but I have to stay awake. I am sitting up in my bed doing work right now. My roommate thinks that it is weird that I work in my bed all the time. Actually you might be thinking that too right now but I will explain why. We no longer have a futon in our room so the only other place I can sit is in my awful not at all comfortable desk chair. I have been sitting in that all day and I want something a little more comfy. Also from my bed I have a really nice view of campus and can do some people watching. If there is anything in this world that I love it is people watching. That picture is my view right now. But I can see everyone really well. Right now lots of groups of people are walking to dinner and two boys are walking down the path eating ice cream. It is also sort of chill and peaceful watching all these people. I sort of love it. Also I get a lot of good ideas for blogs up here. BAHAHAHAHA kidding I have not had a good blog idea or topic in quite some time. Well enjoy your day and do some people watching!


~Natasha

It's My Birthday

Today is this blog's first brithday!!! Can you believe it has already been a year since I started this thing to ramble about my boring life. So my question for you is what are your top 5 posts that I have done? I will give you mine

Natasha's Top Five Posts:

1. April 11, 2008-- If All The Raindrops Were Lemondrops and Gumdrops...
2. April 23, 2008-- The Tale of the Burned Out Lightbulb
3. April 25, 2008-- Hang In There
4. July 4, 2008-- The Wags Have a Sven!!
5. December 3, 2008-- Here Is Your Vocabulary List
6. March 23, 2009-- I May Have A Stalker

Ok so that list turned out to be 6 but I did not want to eliminate one and hurt its feelings so I didn't.

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY BLOG!!!


~Natasha

Spring

Basically I love spring. Today I opened the windows in my room and let the air cleanse it. It was lovely. Today I also watched the movie Jesus Camp and it really made me mad. Seriously if you are like those people I want you to comment and tell me so that I can understand you. Right now I do not understand you at all. Also I watched Knocked Up and I loved it. So funny.

well get outside and enjoy this beautiful Sunday!


Natasha

Not My Day

So yesterday my roommate left for the weekend. Like she does every weekend. I of course just sat in my room last night enjoying the silence and planning out all of the work I would get done over the weekend. So today I was enjoying watching Twilight for the 3rd time. When I heard someone that sounded like my roommate. I ran to the peephole and it was her. I then had to open the door for her because she couldn't. At least that is what she said. I saw no reason why she would not be able to turn the handle and push it open. Anyways so now my perfect weekend of silence is over and I have to deal with this annoying brat. Also I love weekends by myself because she is annoying and you just sort of need some time away. Well now no time away. LAME.


Story 2
So my family is not picking me up for Easter. My mom has decided that I can just stay at school and hang out until they come up Friday night. The only problem is that I am done with school on Thursday at 11:00 in the morning so... I am going to be bored. Also we are not going to have Easter at our house like we always do. We are instead going to Easter with my dad's family. I just want to return to the city.


~Natasha

So...

All I have to say is that Easter Break cannot come fast enough.

OMG

So for real why is it not summer?

April!!

So today is April 1!!! That means that I am going to now have the goal of blogging everyday in April. I set this goal every month but i feel like i can do it now. (hahaha I always say that) So I am going to go and check my mail in a few and my twilight DVD should be here. I am then going to spend hours watching it and then start my large pile of homework that I should be doing right now. Oh yeah I forgot to share that there are no classes today. So I am not not not skipping. Ok? Relax. Breathe I am a good student for the most part.

So you know how sometimes like in newspapers there is a this day in history sort of deal? Well I have one of those for you today.

This day in history in 2008
Natasha woke up and got out of bed. Laurie was sitting at her desk. She had a HUGE smile on her face and turned to me and said. Did you hear? I was thinking I just got up so what the hell no I did not hear whatever you are going to tell me. So then she says The Jonas Brother's canceled their tour. Now she knew how excited I was about this so I was like what. Also I was still a little asleep and so I was processing things a little slower than normal. So then I sat down at my desk and was about to google it when I was like is this an April Fools Day joke? she told me that yes it was and burst out laughing like a little kid who had just told the world's worst (but best to them) knock- knock joke. I just rolled my eyes and was like you are a dumbass.

~Natasha